Random Messes

In My Arsenal

Like most of the country, and especially in that suffering small town in Connecticut, the events of December 14th 2012 have changed me forever. And I. am. pissed.

Remember back in grade school when one kid’s poor behavior could ruin things for the rest of the class? Some brat couldn’t keep from sassing the teacher, and we all missed out on dodgeball. Well guess what gunslingers of America – one of you ruined it for the rest of us. Sorry about it.

You know what? I’m NOT sorry. In fact, I don’t particularly care about your personal rights at the moment. How dare I, you say? Children are dead. That’s how.

In a country whose government takes it upon themselves to police the weapons of other nations for the sake of civilian safety, we are utter failures at monitoring the arsenal in our own backyards. FAILURES. Shame on us.

Gun enthusiasts – I’m not all that concerned about how difficult it might be in the near future for you to get your hands on that pretty shiny rifle you’ve been eyeing for your rack. Get a new hobby.

Hunters – ask a Newtown mother if she gives a shit about your egomaniacal urge to destroy something beautiful in the wee Sunday morning hours while slugging a 6-pack. Get drunk while fishing instead.

Preppers and zombie-apocalypse weapon-hoarders – it’s likely you’re not all that mentally stable in the first place. Sprinkle a few high-round clips on all that crazy and we’ve got another recipe for disaster on our hands. Get a life.

CNN’s coverage of the current gun debate states that something about this mass shooting just feels different. Yeah, it does. It feels like the most vile and incomprehensible kind of pain. It’s murder at the hands of someone who should never have had access to this kind of weaponry. And it feels like we are all responsible – all because up until now, no one wanted to “tread” on the precious sanctity of the ‘merican right to blow holes in the side of your barn after a fifth of whiskey.

Yes let’s talk about mental health. Yes let’s discuss school safety. But don’t you dare start the “guns don’t kill people…” bullshit this time. Not. This. Time.

We license drivers. We register nurses. We even regulate who is buying cold medicine. Get a grip on this epic deluge of murder weapons available to every asshole with a grudge. And do it NOW.


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