I overheard someone say the other day, “All men are dumb, and all girls are crazy.” While I’ll have to save the men for another post, this statement did get me thinking about chicks like me and why, at certain times, we seem to lose our grasp on reality and venture into temporary insanity… particularly in relationships.
Now, in order to diagnose our crazy, I think we have to first define it.
-Guys: What does it mean to you when your girl is “acting crazy?” Likely she is jealous, insecure, consumed with comparing herself to others, or just giving you a hard time about whether or not you actually want to be with her.
-Girls: What does it feel like when you’re in that mood, you know the one, and your guy tells you that you’re out of your mind? If you’re anything like me, it’s a feeling of worry, sprinkled with desperation and a dash of despair.
**NOTE TO THE MEN : Guys, please. Under no circumstances should you ever EVER voice the (likely correct) assumption that it may in fact be your girl’s “time of the month.” Just… don’t. It’s a “binder full of women” statement: we can’t explain why we hate you for saying it, we just do.
So now that you’ve correctly identified your psycho hose beast as she throws a plate at you while while simultaneously accusing you of buggering the cleaning lady, it’s time to slay the dragon. And in order to defeat the monster, you’ve got to understand it. However the crazy may come out, we’ve likely by now discerned that it probably stems from some form of insecurity, or feeling not good enough. While we all may feel like this at some point, I find it’s particularly acute in women. But… why?
If you know anything about psychology (who’s not in therapy these days?) you know that we are doomed to purposely recreate scenarios from our childhoods in our adult relationships. It’s the reason your brother married someone EXACTLY like your mother, even though she drives both of you batty. Since many of us grew up with dads that weren’t the primary caregiver, worked a lot, or were simply not around, we are going to attempt to identify situations where our guy is not there for us.
Here me when I say this: Every woman’s psyche is constantly seeking reasons why “Daddy doesn’t want me”
Unfortunately fellas, that means YOU.
It’s unstoppable. Her subconscious brain is so hellbent on getting back to her childhood state of paternal abandonment, it’s taking it out on you. This is why we nag you for working late. This is why we scowl when you check out another chick. And this is why we freak out when you don’t call. (Incidentally, why don’t you assholes call??)
But all is not lost. This sentiment is present in varying degrees in individual girls. The nut jobs (take a gander at @OvrlyAttachdGF on Twitter to see if she qualifies) are not as easy to spot as you think. But if she exhibits symptoms, don’t run away screaming just yet. See if she’s open to reading this post and can see the correlation between her current behavior and her childhood. There’s oftentimes a cool chick under that damaged exterior and, if you’re patient with her, you might secure a helluva catch.
Unless you’re too dumb to see it 😉