Have you ever felt as though your insides were all messy? Like your head is an attic full of old messages and dusty values that refuse to allow you move forward? Every time you go up there intending to make use of some of the valuable stuff you’ve collected over the years, you become distracted by the aging acquisitions and unfinished projects you’ve accumulated; so much so that the only thing you can do is shut the door and hope there’s time one day for you to get up there and dig through the mess. If only you had a few days of uninterrupted time, you’d get up there and sort shit out once and for all. Heh. Yeah.
I’ve been off of work for a couple of days due to the weather and while snow days can be fun and full of activity, I’m all alone with nothing but my messy head to keep me company. Naturally, this would be the perfect time to dig through all that stuff and get things in order, but have you ever tried to clean out your garage in one day? Doesn’t happen, does it? You end up finding old toys and half painted pictures and pretty soon you’re just sitting there in the middle of the mess getting nothing accomplished.
But is that so bad? After all, you can’t decide what you want to keep until you inventory everything. And that includes the stuff in your head. And stopping to play with the things we find may help us decide if we are ready to move on from them.
Change only occurs when we are ready, and it happens a little bit at a time. We can no sooner overhaul our messy thinking patterns in one day than we can clean out a cluttered crawl space that has been accumulating junk for 20 years. But at some point we do have to start somewhere.
What old junk is up in your head that keeps you distracted from taking that next step in your life? Maybe its an old message of inadequacy from your parents that keeps you from pursuing your dream. Perhaps its a betrayal from a past relationship that keeps you from trusting your heart to someone new. Or maybe it’s just the idea that what you “should” be doing is different than your current experience that keeps you from fully living in the moment.
No one is going to give you permission to throw away the guilt and finish that painting. No one can dust off your heart for you so that it is open to someone new. And a thousand people telling you that you are good enough isn’t as powerful as you deciding that for yourself.
Start here: get up in that attic you call a head and bring down one thing you think could be holding you back. Just one. Remember, we’re starting slowly. Comment and let me know what you find. After all, sometimes my head is like the ‘hood – it’s not wise to go in there alone.